Yeah, No Way To Explain It
by Annie May Detective
Summary: Huzzah
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I really don't know…. xD I thought I'd write this before I go to MY ANGST-Y story 'Warm Me Up'. (Is that what it's called? I changed the title five times while I was writing it.) E-GADS! Shocker, I am continuing that story. Anyways… let's get to daaaa wriiitin' (What the fire truck?)

"Brother, I'm concerned." Alphonse sighed, looking _down_ at his older brother.

"Mm?" Ed mumbled," Is that so? May I ask why?"

"It's just… your… ahem… h-height and all…" Al then flinched knowing what was coming at him next.

"**Who are you calling so short, that *cells* make fun of their height?**"

"It's just that… you know…" Al mumbled, nervously looking down at his hands. He started to rub them together, and sway a little. "You know…"

"I know _what?_ I can't believe my own _brother _turned on me!"

"Well, I think we should consult a doctor or something…about your… err…. height."

"A _doctor _you say? …. A DOCTOR!" Ed shouted; flapping his fists in every direction, as he got worked up. "SO HE CAN MAKE FUN OF ME TOO?"

"N-no, it's just…" Al grinned, at his new idea," Maybe he can _help _you."

Ed thoughtfully scratched at his chin," Help me, eh?" Pulling his lips into a wild grin he replied," I like that idea. Al, you're a fuc-"

"Fire trucking," Al corrected. Recently he had been trying to get his older brother off of the cursing habit that he had picked up a **long **time ago. Fire truck seemed to be the best replacement word, for it started with an f and ended with an uck.

"Right, right," Ed mumbled," You're a _fire trucking _genius."

"Yes, yes, yes; I know." Alphonse said with a girlish giggle.

(LOOK MA, IT'S A SCENE CHANGE!)

"Well, according to our records… you should be drinking a tad more milk; little boy." The local doctor said with a smile, as he took off his gloves.

"**Who are you calling so small that he needs more milk than *babies*?**"

The doctor sighed," Edwart-"

"Edward." Alphonse corrected.

"Yeah Edward, I said nothing of the sorts."

"…But you were thinking it; I KNOW YOU WERE!" Edward yelled, as Alphonse held him back from thrashing about.

They had arrived at the doctor's a while back; and after a long series of complex seeming tests… that was the conclusion the doctor had come to. Later that evening Ed ranted on his height and the bill for the visit.

(LOOK MA, IT'S ANOTHER SCENE CHANGE!)

"**That demonic turkey baster! Wasting our time and money; and thinking malicious thoughts on my height! HE'S A RIP OFF, THIRD RATE, DEEEMON!**" Ed yelled, throwing his fists," Why I outta'." He grumbled, adjusting his sleeves to look a bit more menacing. Al chuckled," Now Brother…"

"_**RAAAAAGE!**_" Edward roared, randomly running around to break branches off of trees. "Umm, Brother?" Al asked meekly, as Ed turned towards him and let out a roar of a 'what'.

"You done now, because I don't want people to stare. Last time I forgot to stop you and the next thing we know, you're ramming a remote into your rear…"

"ROOOAR! …. Yeah, I'm done now." Ed then shoved his hands into his pockets and followed his younger brother. "Hey Al, I don't remember doing that remote thing."

"…. And I'm sure you don't want to." Then he patted his older brother's back, and they raced home.

A/N: That was…. THE FUN-EST (phail…) 15 MINUTES OF MY LIFE! Should I start doing this as a series? xD Then I could have something to do. I mean, if you've read my stories this is pretty *extreme* when it comes to it. By the waaaay, two questions…. What does AU mean, and… Am I the only one who has the incapability to curse, or even type it? Cookies to people who get my weird-o references. And to the people I referenced to… thank you, and I love you. I'd 'nom nom nom' your face.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for your support! I never expected this much, so early. Normally I'd write Detective Conan fan fictions, and since that's a smaller fan base…. You know where I'm leading off to. A huge thanks to Zorva, for telling me what AU meant. Ha ha, I sat there for 30 seconds just saying,'ohhhh oh ohhh ohm right… oh'. And the story I mentioned last time… yeah, I KNEW it was the wrong name. Ha ha, I fail. ON WITH THE SHOW!

"Hey Brother, how are babies made?" The younger Elric asked, patiently waiting for with brother's response.

"Well…. Uh… derp…. YOU SEE…. When a mommy and daddy love each other very much…. A… uhh… STORK CRASHES INTO THE MOMMY! And then another person grows off of the mommy, and when they're fully developed…. They just fall off of her and start walking around." Ed stated, looking down in a hard stare at the ground below him.

"Brother that sounds painful!" Al whimpered, shuddering heavily.

Ed grinned," Yes, yes it is. _Very, very ,__**very **_painful! So never, and I mean never like a girl that much. Okay?"

"I would never!" Al pouted, sticking out his bottom lip. "But Dad loved Mom that much."

"Yeah, that's because he's a numbskull." Ed grumbled.

"Ed…. Maybe there is another way! I mean, remember in Rush Valley?"

_Oh __**NO**_, Ed never considered that. Of COURSE Al would remember that, it practically enticed him and traumatized him at the same time.

"_Maybe….. _We should ask the doctor!" Al piped up cheerily.

"**NO NO NO NO NO! I REFUSSSSE!**" Ed yelled, throwing a massive temper tantrum.

"Oh right, I forgot... Come on Brother, please?" Al said, giving Ed puppy dog eyes. "PLLLLLEEEAAASEE?"

"What are you doing with your face?" Ed grumbled, looking at Al's puppy dog face.

Al returned his face to normal, blushing," N-nothing Brother."

"Maybe we should get that checked out…" Ed mumbled, oblivious to anything cute.

"You mean we get to go to the doctors'?" Al cried happily, jumping in glee.

"Yeah, yeah sure." Ed said, crossing his arms over his chest.

(LOOK MA, A SCENE CHANGE!)

"Why hello there. I am Doctor Epic Win."

"Hello Doctor Epic Win!" Al said with a smile, as Ed just rolled his eyes.

"That's DR. Doctor Epic Win to you!" The female doctor snapped, scrawling down something on her check up sheet.

"Wha-?" Al squeaked, cocking his head to the right like a confused animal.

"My name is Doctor Epic Win. Which means it's DR. DOCTOR EPIC WIN to _you_!"

"Ha ha, name fail." Ed chuckled under his breath.

"WHAT DO YOU **WANT?**" The doctor said, hitting them both an the head with her clipboard.

"Well, I'd like a happy meal!" Someone called from…. The doctor's closet?

"QUITE YOU!" The doctor yelled, throwing medical equipment at the closet, that was _not _used for storage…. If you catch my drift.

Alphonse's eye twitched," Well I wanted to know how babies were born…."

"Aren't you like…? WELL I DON'T KNOW, SIXTEEN OR SOMETHING?" Doctor Epic Win screeched in a mock sarcasm.

Al blushed, and Ed just shook his head. "What we _really _want is to get Al's face fixed. HEY AL! Do that face thing." Ed said, looking intently at his brother.

"…Ed…."

(LOOK MA, ANOTHER SCENE CHANGE!)

"**I can't believe all she told us to do was to play pickle-ball! That is the worst game ever! It's like tennis… BUT FOR **_**OLD**_** PEOPLE!**" Ed ranted, as he grabbed a paddle from the tub of them.

"Well… maybe it's good for your health! Well all exercise is… But then, maybe she wanted for us to get _mental_ exercise. We did seem crazy when we were in there." Al said, practicing his swing for the opposed side of the court.

"Yeah, yeah…" Ed mumbled serving the ball. "TEAM FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST, THE ONE THAT ALWAYS WINS! …. T.F.A. Comma. T.O.T.A.W for short!"

Al grinned at his brother's usual over-arrogant personality. Whacking the ball back at Ed he cheered," Team Alphonsey!"

"OH HO HO! Your skills are NO MATCH FOR **MINE**!" Ed then hit the ball harder.

Chuckling, Al just hit the ball.

"NO RESPONSE? **This. Means. **_**War!**_"

(3 HOURS LATER)

"COME ON AND MISS THE BALL! WE'RE **NOT** LEAVING UNTIL ON OF US SCORES!" Ed yelled, hitting the ball again, his auto mail still at full strength.

"Oh ho ho~" With that, Al hit the ball again.

A/N: ... Who knew Al was that epic at PWNing! **IMPORTANT: Please comment saying what YOU would like to see. **Reviews= your ideas with a twist, that will probably make you regret suggesting it. KIDDING! ^. ^


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: AN IDEA? Yay! xD I've been thinking on how to do this one… (I have since like… 5 minutes after Zorva commented. ((Yes, I refreshed my e-mail until someone commented xD, I have nothing to do)) I am SO excited to write this. SO LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!

"BROTHER! My little bitsy-bitsy nose is _bleeding_." Alphonse cried, wiping the oozing blood that was coming from his nose.

"AL! If we don't finish this, we won't have enough boogers to make a castle! IT'S EQUALIENT EXCHANGE, DARN IT! I don't want to lose a limb from something _this _stupid." Ed yelled, placing his fists on his waist.

"I thought we needed a booger castle to save the world from the killer Nom Noms."

" …. SO THEN PICK YOUR NOSE! We _need _to save the world. Do you want to see another day?"

"Yes, I do." Al sniffled, and continued to pull out boogers.

You see, the Nom Noms apocalypse was predicted a while back. The Elric brothers- being the heroic people they are- decided to research on the 'Nom Noms'. They discovered that their weakness was boogers. Nom Noms could anything, except boogers, which the brother knew they could handle. 'Just a few right?' they though, WRONG! Even with alchemy at their side they would need a lot of boogers. Of course, Edward –being the arrogant person that he was- had already told **everyone** that they were saving the world. Poor Alphonse was just dragged into it.

Nom Noms were little puffy things from the fourth galaxy. They could repopulate quicker than bunnies, and they were pretty smart compared to most animal things. So when they over-populated their planet, they decided to take over Ed and Al's. They first had to eat everyone though, so they hopped onto their spaceship and traveled. When the head-honchos at Central found out, they had told everyone of the Nom Noms apocalypse. Which is leads to where we are now.

(LOOK MA, IT'S A SCENE CHANGE!)

"Al, I think we did it!" Ed cried happily, just seconds before the invasion.

"YAAAAY!" Al yelled, throwing his hands around," YAAAAY!"

Then, the killer Nom Noms came, nomming everything that was in front of them.

"Aww, BROTHER! Aren't they cute?" Al cheered. Now, there was one thing the Nom Noms hated besides boogers, and that was being called cute. It made them go crazy, so they all lunged in Al's direction.

Ed quickly transmuted their booger castle, which should have stopped the killer puff-balls. If only it wasn't Ed-feet high. "Brother! I told you to make it MY height, since I'm taller!" Al yelled as the Nom Noms nommed his arms.

Ed twitched, his eyes glowing red," **I can't believe my own brother said I was shorter than the three-inch tall **_**NOM NOMS!**_"

And that is why, dear children, 10-minute meals exist.

A/N: xD Killer Nom Noms; I have too much fun. Yes, even in a time like that Edo is concerned on his height. Thanks Zorva, your idea kicked butt (Edo's butt in fact xD)! Keep the AMAZING ideas coming everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: What have I gotten intoooo? Ha ha, kidding! I was so excited to do this idea, I kept thinking about it every time FMA Brotherhood went to commercial. (It only does it once an episode though…) Thanks Zorva, YOUR IDEAS PWN! So… Let's do it. xD

"_IS PEANUT BUTTA' JELLY TIME, PEANUT BUTTA' JELLY TIME!"_

"ALPHONSE! I _swear _if you don't stop singing that song… I'll be forced to- to…. To…."

"But Brother," Al whined," It's my sandwich making song."

"I don't _care_ if it is, but you eat sandwiches every _meal_." Ed said, while mashing up some potatoes with his fist.

"I eat only _peanut butter jelly _sandwiches; so therefore, I need to sing that song."

"RAAAGE!" Then Ed smashed his potatoes more.

"Brother, what are you doing to the neighbor's potatoes? She grew them just for us and you're ruining them!" Al said, pushing Ed away from the pile of mushy potatoes.

"BWAHAHA! It serves her right. That demon Bailey… she always is using her random animal weather alchemy… SHE MAKES IT RAIN RABID BUNNIES; AND THEN SHE MAKES THEM ATTACK ME! I don't _care _if she says they're only doing that because of my shiny auto mail arm... Hey Al, I invented squished potatoes!" Then Ed stopped ranting, and stuck his finger into the mashed mess. "It tastes… like squirrels…."

"B-brother? You've eaten S-sq-squirrels?" Al stuttered, backing away from Ed.

"Only the kind that Bailey makes rain from the sky." Ed grumbled, eating some moe of the potatoes. "It needs butter…." Then Ed pulled to sticks of butter out of nowhere. Dipping them into the potatoes like it was celery into ranch. Hesitantly, he took a bite and chewed," Not half bad…" Al couldn't help but to barf a little into his mouth.

"I-I think I'll go back to my sandwich making, okay Brother?" Al waited for a reply, but Ed was too busy devouring his sandwich.

(LOOK MA, A SCENE CHANGE!)

Al pulled out a ninja sword, and spread the peanut butter onto one slice of bread. Humming the peanut butter jelly time song under his breath.

"Heya Al, I hate to barge in like this only to help the plot but…. I think you have some serious issues." The voice belonged to their other neighbor, who was the Spark Alchemist.

Alphonse hissed, clawing at the other alchemist," Don't touch my PB&J." Then he licked off the peanut butter from the ninja sword he was using, instead of a butter knife.

"I'm serious dude, you need some form of… well…. Rehab."

"R-rehab?"

"Yes, I'm serious Alphonsey; dead serious. If you give me a piggy back ride, I'll lead you to the center." And with that, Al scooped up the Spark alchemist and she led him to help. The center was run by… Dr. Doctor Epic Win, surprisingly. And when they locked Al up with only pies and fancy things to eat, he realized that his brother wouldn't rescue him, for his hatred of doctors.

(LOOK MA, A SCENE CHANGE!)

"Hey Ed!" The Spark Alchemist called waving to Ed as he ate all of the potatoes that he had bought from the store.

"Have you seen Al?" The Fullmetal alchemist asked," I was going to share my squished potatoes with him…"

"Squished? They look more like mashed….. But I'll tell you where he is if you give me a piggy back ride…." And with that, she grinned.

A/N: YAY! ^.^ I have too much fun writing these…. Keep the crack ideas coming! xD Bailey is my character, the... RANDOM ANIMAL WEATHER ALCHEMIST! The Spark alchemist is my friend's character...


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I almost didn't do one this week (since doing nothing makes me "busy" somehow)! But SOMEBODY said to. *glance, glance* Oh ho ho, you know who you are. xD Kidding, kidding! Any who….. METHINKS IT'S TIME TO WRITE!

"Alphonse," Ed sniffled," I just can't believe you were diagnosed with Blow up at Any Minute disease." Ed wiped a tear from his eye; patting his brother's arm understandingly.

"Now, now, now Brother, maybe I'll blow up many minutes from now! You never know." Edward's younger brother, Al said. He had a fake Barbie like smile plastered onto his face.

It was just a few hours ago, when the Elric brothers went for Al's bimonthly checkup (he needed them often since he hadn't had a body for a while) at Dr. Doctor Epic Win's place. She was just doing her thing… until she discovered a giant ticking bomb inside Al's uterus. She informed that Ed wasn't allowed to see it, because she said so. She also explained it was BUAAMD, saying that Al could blow up at well…. Any minute.

"Maybe… she was lying…" Ed said, grinning wide, hoping the best for his little brother. Though Al shrugged, "She's a doctor Brother; I think she knows her gory diseases." Al replied, shuddering. " I think the bomb kicked me!"

" THEN WE MUST VISIT THE DOCTOR!" Ed screamed, tossing random things into a suitcase, in case he would be staying there for a while. Then Edward pushed his little brother out the door, and dashed him to the doctor's.

(LOOK MA, A SCENE CHANGE!)

"Hello, I am Miss Bailey…. May you sign here- EDWARD?"

Oh no, it was Bailey, the Random Animal Weather alchemist. "I JUST GOT A JOB HERE AND YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP!" The girl yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Ed. "THAT'S IT!" **_CLAP! _**

Next thing you know, random squirrels are raining down everywhere. They pelted off roofs and ran around in a mad dash when they landed. Bailey blew a whistle that she had pulled out from nowhere. Then, all the squirrels ran towards her and the sharp whistle tweet. Bailey pointed a finger at Edward," KEEL HIM! …. But not Alphonsey! Ohai Al!" Then, as all the squirrels poured onto Ed, noming away at his various body parts; Bailey waved to Al. Alphonse pushed himself slightly off the ground, rubbing his head from where he had fallen, since Edward dropped him. Though you couldn't blame Ed, since he WAS being attacked by squirrels.

"DAMN YOU BAILEY!" Edward cried thrashing about, trying to clap his hands together, but failing as the squirrels held him down.

Bailey turned to Al, who was still on the floor, "Umm, Bailey… I think I'm about to explode…" Al whimpered pathetically. Bailey gasped, moving her way into the pile of squirrels to pull out Al. "Really?" She gasped, as she dragged Al. All he could do was nod his head.

"I'll get you to Boss!" Then Bailey dragged him by the feet into the back room. "DOCTOR! MY FRIEND IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!" Then she hoisted Al up onto the examination table, placing him down flat. A door appeared out of nowhere and Doctor Epic Win came out, as she closed the door various voices screamed for help. "SHUT UP!" She screeched, and faced her dying patient.

"Alphonse Elric?" She asked, pulling off her blood drenched gloves, and replacing them with new clean ones.

Al nodded," I'm about to blow up…" He was gasping for air," HEEEELP MEEE!"

The doctor sighed," Al, I was kidding. There is no such thing as Blow up at Any Minute disease."

"B-but, you said it was in my u-"

Doctor Epic Win head-desked," You're hopeless Mr. Elric; absolutely hopeless."

"False alarm?" Bailey mumbled, watching her boss's head nod a yes," Great…" Then Bailey sighed and walked out of the room.

"I-I thought we were friends, what's bad about your friend living?" Al cried, pushing himself off of the cold table.

"I JUST WANTED SOME GORE!" Bailey yelled back. Alphonse could hear her plop heavily back into her behind-the-counter chair.

Then, all the sudden, Ed burst into the room. "It. Was. FAKE?"

Doctor Epic Win nodded.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME LOSE EPICALLY…. AGAIN!" Then Ed took one off the squirrels that was still trying to eat him, and threw it at Dr. Doctor Epic Win; she dodged it though.

"Oh ho ho, LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!" Then, the doctor pulled out a chicken.

A/N: xD Is it me, or are these getting weirder? Or more inside joke-y? HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED THOUGH! *epic happy face inserted here*

DANG IT! I just found out that I deleted my new fanfiction project (about 9,000 words... I can't even make the 'over 9,000' joke)... Sigh. But remember to send ideas, and I'll use them. :/


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: :D I *had* to write this… for a friend… who I will e-mail this to… and she'll say 'What took you so long; You've been telling me to write my story, but you hardly update yours.' xD Actually, she'd be nicer, WIN!

"Al…. get offa' me." Edward gritted out, as Alphonse rubbed himself more into Ed's lap.

"Why?" He asked clearly, handing Edward the die," Your turn." Snatching it grumpily Ed rolled it, hearing the 'thunk'ing noise it made as it came in contact with the Quelf board.

"What did I get?" Edward asked, trying to view his roll. Al blocked it though, by slowly moving on Edward's lap to pick up the die. "A three." He stated, settling back into Edward's lap.

"When are you going to get off me?" Ed panted, looking at what color square he landed on. A heavy red blush rested on his face.

"After Heiderich's turn of course!~" Alphonse replied airily, grinning in Alfons's direction.

"What the Hell is happening out there?" Alfons asked from his blanket fort.

"Nothing at all!~" Al said, picking put Ed's card," By the way Niisan, you got a blue."

"Can I at least look," The German asked, hand reaching out to pull off the blanket.

"Not unless you want a penalty… Because Al will enforce it." Ed grumbled, his brother being such a rule stickler. Reading his blue Roolz card aloud," It's a global rule… Okay, everyone must," He trailed off to read ahead for a second, eyes widening.

"What is it Niisan?" Alphonse asked, still perched on Edward's lap.

"Yeah, what is it?"

There wasn't a reply, just Ed opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

"You better not be mocking me, since I can't see what's going on. Just hurry and so I can get out of this freaking fort! It's hotter than the stovetop in here!" Heiderich yelled, thrashing a bit to show his point.

"It says that this card is now a genie named Ned. And every time it's your turn you must sing a wish to Ned… and say his name at least three times…. And clap…."

"That's not too bad!" Al cheered, handing the die to Heiderich.

"FINALLY….. Wait… I think I want to be back under there… If you catch my drift.." He was blushing, sheiding his eyes from the heavier blushing Ed, who still had Al on top of his lap.

"I thought you wanted to come out of your fort, which you can now do since it's your turn." Al said.

"Well…. You know…. You're all…. On Ed…."

"OKAY AL, JUST TAKE THE PENALTY AND GET OFF ME!" Ed yelled, trying to push his little brother off of him.

"No! I will WIN this game!" Al pouted," Any ways, Heiderich…. MAKE A WISH!" With that Alphonse grinned, handing the genie card to the German boy.

"La, la, la, oh Ned, fa, la, dee, da, Ned the genie… and stuff…. Do, dee, dum…. Ned, I want… a rocket, la, la… lyrics… lyrics…" With that, Heiderich stopped clapping, and rolled the die. "A PURPLE ONE, AGAIN? I SWEAR IF I HAVE TO WRITE *ANOTHER* POEM-"He looked at his card,"…. I need the pad of paper… and the pencil…."

When he started writing, Alphonse yelled," THE PEN IS MIGHTER THAN THE SWORD," With his best British accent he could manage. Sighing, Edward rubbed his hand through his hair," Just go Alphonse…."

"Okay! ~" Al leaned forward to get the genie card, and sung at the top of his lungs a wish in the tune of 'Zip-A-De- Doo-Dah'.

He then rolled, throwing the die with energy. "YAY! Another Roolz card!"

"Alphonse," Edward growled," You were supposed to get off my lap at the beginning of your turn."

"Meh." Al shrugged, grabbing the blue card from the deck. "All the players must…. Stay exactly where they are right now, even if they have to go to the restroom, or pay the penalty of moving back 5 spaces." There was a silence," YAY!"

"No, no, no!" Ed squirmed, but Al kept him down.

"No Niisan, if you move, then we BOTH pay a penalty, and I don't want that." Al whined innocently.

Groaning Heiderich grumbled something about incest. "Can we just go?" He asked, reached for the die, but not moving his rear. "Your turn anyways, Edward." He handed it to the Alchemist, resting his head against the pillow on to bed's backboard. "Ahh, It's a good thing you have such a large bed…" He sighed, rubbing away at his headache.

"Fine, fine… whatever." Ed grumbled rolling a one.

There was hardly a silence.

"ALL MUST BOW BENEATH THE MIGHTY JAPANESE CHEESE DANISH!" They all called, Alphonse being the first, and Heiderich being the last. "Move back two Hei-chan!~" Al cheered, snuggling his brother. Ed cursed and landed his character upon a green space," Not another question card…" He mumbled.

Al picked up the question card," How much could a woodchuck chunk, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"  
"What kind of question is that…? My answer is I really don't know…" Ed grumbled.

"Incorrect! It was anything more than zero, move back three Niisan!" Al piped in his high-pitched tea kettle voice. "Just move my character for me." Ed sighed.

There was one awkward silence," You know… you forgot to sing to the genie." Heiderich mused, from his half-awake state, as his head proceded to pound.

"YOU'RE RIGHT!" Alphonse yelled," Move back!" He squealed, and moved Ed's game piece again.

"I thought the 'rolling a one' rule cancels it out!" Edward yelled, thrashing his fists, though Al made him stay put.

"It never says that one card cancels out another. ~" The younger Elric cheered.

"To Hell with this game…." Ed mumbled, grabbing Al's shoulder to get him off.

"OOOH, NIISAN!"

"What now?"

"You forgot that we're not allowed to touch each other's shoulders."

"True," The tallest mumbled," That's why Al denied me of a shoulder massage…. Move back again."

"ARG!"

A/N: n_n HUZZAH! I *love* Quelf. Everyone is forced to buy it now :3 Also, a lot of this references to what happened when I played it… But I added some things… changed some things… And made a lil' Elricest fun.


	7. Chapter 7

"Come on, five! FIVE! FIVE SPACESSSS!" Edward chanted, pumping his fists in the air at his success of getting the spinner to land on a five. "I WIN!"

"Rematch," Alphonse stated loudly while he pouted, resetting the game board for another round. "I WILL WIN SHOOTS AND LADDERS!"

Edward merely grinned, as he leaned back into his chair that squeaked in refusal of shifting weight like that. "Face it, I've won 5 times."

Al frowned, flicking the spinner as hard as he could. "I got…. nothing good." He mumbled, as he moved his game piece ahead a few spaces.

Edward sighed," Can we change games?" As he moved his character to a ladder, climbing up really high on the game board.

"Yes please." Alphonse grumbled, pushing the game hastily back into its box. "As I thought," Ed chuckled," Sore loser."

"Sore winner," Al mumbled as he dug through their many games.

It was a rainy day, with heavy lightening and such. The kind that prevents you from going anywhere, so Edward had a bunch of free time off from work at Central. They power had gone out around three in the morning. The cure for boredom was of course, board games.

"Let's invite the neighbors!" Al cheered, as he popped up from the game pile with the game, Life.

Ed slapped his face," The state Alchemist and the crazy al-"

_WHAM!_

"CRAZY?" Bailey, the Random Animal Weather alchemist, yelled as she burst from the Elric's front door, dripping with water.

"How did yo-you-?" Edward stuttered, obviously flabbergasted, as he back his chair away from the door.

The Spark Alchemist, Rhia, also followed Bailey in, though she was much drier. "Smart one here," She gestured to Bailey," Suggested listening in on you two. Being the citizen I was, I stood nearby so she wouldn't get abducted."

Rhia closed her umbrella, smirking at Edward. Ed just rolled his eyes, offering the Spark alchemist a chair next to him. She accepted it, and looked at the game Alphonse was setting up. "Life… that's like the longest game ever; next to Monopoly, of course." She sighed," Vaguely amusing, might I add."

Ed grumbled, picking up his car game piece," You'll like it."

Bailey plopped her dripping self next to Al, hugging him really hard. "Hey Alphonsey!" She piped, grabbing her car game piece. "HEY GUYS, ALPHONSEY AND MY PERSON GOT MARRIED!" And with that loud, very Bailey-like announcement, the Random Animal Weather alchemist stuck a male character into her car; while pushing a car piece away from Al.

Ed and Rhia both sighed and shook their head. " Should we…-?" Rhia trailed off, offering a female character to Edward for his car.

Ed just shrugged," Why not?" Then he popped her person into the purple plastic vehicle.

"HELL YEAH!" Rhia then hopped up and hi-fived Edward as hard as she could.

LATER INTO THE GAME!

"Our job is… A LAWER?" Bailey slammed her fist down," THIS SHANT DO! Our new job is the Ghostbusters, and we earn OVER 9,000 DOLLARS!" Bailey stood up and did she victory dance, and Ed face palmed. "This is what we get for agreeing to play without the rules," He mumbled as Rhia picked up their job card.

"A teacher? FINE, WE'LL PLAY THEIR GAME; OUR NEW JOB IS THE LEADER OF EVREYTHING! We get all your dang money, BEE-OTCH!" Then Rhia forced Edward to help her pile up their new cash pile. "BWAHAHA!" She threw the money into the air, and proceeded to roll in it on the floor, as Ed took his turn.

LATER INTO THE GAME! 

After many misunderstanding on the game, for Bailey kept changing the rules every time Ed attempted to do something, they had all given up. Honestly, with Bailey's weird rules, Al's confusion, Rhia's over competiveness, and Edward's lack of patience…. This was a kind of obvious ending to the game.

"Let's play Quelf!" Bailey cheered, pumping her fists in the air," WOOT!"

"Wouldn't you just change the rules?" Edward yelled, furious that Bailey had still said he'd lost the game of Life since he sneezed.

Bailey hit Edward with a squirrel that she had made rain from the sky," QUELF DOESN'T NEED CHANGING, YOU ALCMEMY NOOB!"

Edward rubbed his head," Noob?"

"Yes noob!" Rhia agreed hi-fiving Bailey, and missing thrice until they actually hit each other's hands. "OH SHAY!" They both yelled, doing the Bailey Victory dance.

"I like Quelf!" Alphonse grinned, pulling out the game board. Edward blushed," Wonder why…." Then Ed had a horrible flashback from the last time they'd play Quelf, and he shuddered.

"GAME TIME!" Bailey yelled, as she picked up her permanent character, the Platypus. She'd even engraved her initials onto the Elric's game piece, so they'd never play it. Rhia chose the Dude character, though Bailey and she call him the Rapist, and for a good reason. Al picked the Pickle, because…. who knows why; and Edward just randomly selected one, because he didn't really care.

"Lookie Niisan, we have Mr Lugnut!" Alphonse cheered.

"So…?"

"My Lugnut is my character's husband! You can just call me Wifey." With that announcement, Al winked at Edward merrily.

"You picked… a female character?" Ed asked.

Alphonse pouted," Is there something wrong with that, Niisan?"

Ed opened his mouth to pour out every little reason on why that was wrong, but Rhia elbowed him hard. "Shh!"

Bailey was shuffling the cards oddly as they all talked, searching in the Blue deck for something, or that's what it looked like to a passerby. "Time to roll~!" Then she shook her hand as hard as she could and threw it across the room. "RHIA," She winked," Go and _tell_," More winking," me what I _got._" Then Rhia and she sat there winking back and forth.

"Uh huh?"

"Uh _huh. _"

"Oh realaaay?"

"Yes _realaaay."_

"Okay."

"_Oh-ho-ho-kay."_

Then Rhia picked up the dice from the other side of the room," YOU GOT A RULE CARD!"

Bailey pumped her fist into the air," OH YEAH, BABY!"

She picked up the blue card, and didn't even look at it," Everyone must have a theme song to sing when EVER they move their game piece!" As Rhia reseated herself, Bailey and she exchanged more obvious winks to each other.

"Cheater…" Edward mumbled, and Bailey hit him with a random duck that had came through the- somehow now open- window.

"Mine is," Bailey cleared her throat," _Get drunk with owls, drop acid with cows, I WANNA MAKE FRIENDS WITH A BADGER!"_

"Mine's… _SILENCE, I __**RAPE YOU!**__" _That line caused Rhia to have another hi-five session with the Random Animal Weather alchemist.

"Mine is…. _GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FU-UN!" _

Ed couldn't help but to hit Alphonse upside the head," Dude."

"DUDE!" Bailey yelled.

"DU-UUUUDE!" Rhia cried.

"Dude." Ed sighed, shaking his head.

" Whee!" Al cheered," What's yours Niisan?"

Ed smacked his head," Who cares?"

"WE CARE!"

"Mine is… _La la.. song… lyrics… la." _Ed frowned," HAPPY?"

"Yes!" The three all chorused.

"Idiots," Ed rolled the die and moved forward.

"YOU DIDN'T SING! PENALTY! PENALTY!"

"Not AGAIN!"

A/N: O.O I leik games.

I didn't mentally scar you guys last time, did I? *is peeking out from behind police shield* Sorry.


End file.
